"...board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist."

Side note (can you have a side note before actually saying anything?): I've been listening to a lot of old Loveline lately. It's so wonderfully nostalgic and entertaining.

Anyway...

Not to be all Jerry Seinfeld-esque or anything, but what's the deal with girls in their early 20s? I may only be 24 years old (Christ, 25 in January...), but I know how to be polite in social situations. Even if I'm forced to interact with someone that I have an immediate distaste for, I can smile, and converse, and exist without coming off like Ms. Trunchbull giving a toast at a wedding. 

My manners, while not horrible, are far from impeccable, too. That's why I just end up staring, mouth half-open, when I find myself privy to people behaving like the middle school morons that teased me once upon a time about wearing glasses, or having an odd sense of humor, or having love affairs with puppets as a child. 

I'll never understand why 75% of the females I meet that are in my age group try to treat me like shit. At least I can usually find some guys to stand around with during these quasi-forced situations. They make me so much more comfortable by just drinking heavily and occasionally mumbling in my general direction.

Bitches be trippin'.

Drunken Poetry (It's the best type of poetry)

I was going though the notes I keep on my iPhone the other day, and I discovered that I managed to get really drunk the other night and type out a few lines of strangely-inspired poetry. It's been so long since I've felt inspired to write anything, drunk or otherwise, that I figured I would share.

"It's 8am and now I must
set down this whiskey-laden cup.
The sun's soft, and unlike this glass.
Instead of falling, it comes up.

And now my cliche-riddled head
can bend to rest upon my bed
despite the light and fights of mind.
Had I gone at 4, instead of whined
about my life and things to do
I might be sleeping, now, like you."

-Surprising drunken poetry

<3