Totes inTERESTing... maybe.

This was a conversation I had with a friend of mine as we tried to uncover the mystery behind slang. 

Him: That’s totally interesting…. Totes interesting… totes terest? 

me: (I just stare at him with the most confused face I could muster.)

Him: Yeah, "terest" isn't going to catch on… I have a feeling.

me: Wait, what the hell are you talking about?

Him: You know! Terest! As in, “Hmmm..I find that in-TEREST-ing.”

me: Uhh.... nope. I don’t think that’s an actual slang term.

Him: That is because I just made it up. Obvs.

me: Plus, it has too many syllables. Slang has to be simple so you basically HAVE to use it. All slang is like that, right?

Him: Maybe. Some slang just doesn't make any sense, though. 

me: Of course it does! For example, people say, "Fuck," instead of, "I accidentally dropped those scissors on my foot and it hurt quite a bit, and I'm probably bleeding and going to end up losing a toe." 

Him: Well, not always....

me: Or they'll say something's, "ridic'," instead of "Well goodness! That isn't quite preposterous, but it IS certainly quite ridiculous." 

Him: You seem to have very specific definitions surrounding your use of slang. What else?

me: .... I'm trying to think of more, but aside from "fuck" and "ridic'" I can only come up with old slang... like, "color me excited!" and, "Sit on it!"

Him: Wow. That says a lot. Though I can't decide if it's that you're really old, or you spend the majority of your time around really old people..... Wait, are you calling me old?!?

me: Not at all. I'm the old one, and also, according to the evidence, pretty lame. Oh!!!!! Wait!!!! Lame totes counts as slang! People say "lame" instead of "that's awfully stupid, I'm feeling bored, and I wish you would just shut up." 

Him: (Laughs at my excitement over coming up with a slang term that's even vaguely contemporary.)

me: Hey, you know what? You can just... go... SIT ON IT. Yeah, that's right, Giggles McGee. What have you got to say to THAT?!

Him: (Still laughing) LAME!

-L