It's worse because you have TWO.

My friend Christo is obnoxious sick. He had to go to the E.R. because there's a giant calcium meteorite barreling its way through his body. It's a kidney stone. And it sucks, because if there's anything in your body you DON'T want to piss off, it's your kidney. I've had two kidney infections, and I thought I was going to die both times. I can't imagine having a rock just chilling in there, treating my kidney like a bouncy castle. Ow.

When my friends are sick, or amusing, or inspiring, or whatever, I occasionally make them super incredible comics. So I made one for Christo. Click on this, so you can actually read it (if you're illiterate, however, clicking will not give you the ability to read. Though you can't read this either, so I guess just keep doing what you're doing...):

The letter missing on the speech bubble for the kidney stoned is an "n." It's supposed to say, "The MAN."

All my drawings for Christo have to be certified by Mensa, because I was trying to prove that kittens help relationships (because his girlfriend, who is usually snarkier than anything on the planet, wanted one) and it was about a dubrillion times easier to just stamp a Mensa seal on it than it would have been to actually prove anything.

The kidney's owned is playing a video game. I was asked if that was a turn-table. I was all, "No, because it CLEARLY doesn't say, 'wikka wikka' anywhere." That's how you can tell if you're looking at a turn-table. At least, that's the word on the street.

So Christo, tell your kidney to stfu, and feel better.

P.S. I just went back to proof-read this, and realized that I said "piss off your kidneys" in, like, the first paragraph. I feel like an idiot for not realizing it when I wrote it. And I feel like the most badass person ever, because I made a pun about pee.