Opposite over adjacent (that's a MATH joke)

The past few days have been pretty horrible. Not horrible like I was kidnapped and woke up in a single-engine plane, where I had to jump to avoid the zombies that clearly weren't zombies upon takeoff, but then only the zombies were wearing parachutes so I had to grapple with one while plummeting to the earth in order to not end up splattered all over the ground, and then I had to escape the zombies and make it back to a safe zone only to find out that the only food left on the planet is black olives (blech), and that humans are now required to sleep on beds of nails because the tyrannical government that took over because of the zombies decided that nails, discomfort, and olives are the best way to keep the general public under control.

It hasn't been that bad. But almost. And I didn't get to see any good violence or gore (not for lack of trying, let me assure you), so actually my hypothetical scenario is way cooler about par with the events surrounding the past few days. I suppose the silver lining is that shit times help one discover who in their life isn't worth a shit  is a complete liar  is not worth keeping around. Oh, friendship euthanasia.

But, you know, you can't count on men boys anyone other than yourself to make you happy. And your dog(s), of course. Don't even think about counting on my your cat for happiness, though. If they know you're after something, they'll restrict access to it. Like affection, or the keyboard of the laptop, or the ability to walk without tripping over said cat. Fuzzy little jerks.

So today, I'm grateful. I'm grateful for my friends that are worth a shit. I'm grateful for my giant dog, despite the bruises her wagging tail leaves on my legs (seriously... I can't wear skirts to work, for fear of gasps and concern). I'm grateful for my spaz of a fox/puppy. I'm... appreciative of Rabs, and her endless entertainment and cat-snark. I'm grateful that it's 5 o'clock somewhere, because this waxing poetic bullshit HAS to be alcohol-induced (seriously, I'm not this gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that).

So the past few days have sucked more than a zombie apocalypse with tyrants and nail-beds and olives as the only source of food. But it's okay. Because alcohol is cheap I'm loved. And I have bruises on my legs to prove it.