I had the strangest childhood.
After my parents divorced (when I was 2 or 3 years old) I went to live with my dad. My biological mother floated around from place to place for several years, after which she found herself living with her next husband (in what became a long line of fiancées / husbands/ etc.), as well as their two children (my brother is 4ish years my junior, and my sister is 5ish years younger than I am).
Bio-mum and (ex)step-dad finally ended in a crappy apartment in the northeast suburbs of Atlanta (from what I can remember). Some of my earliest memories revolve around that apartment.
I remember being around 7, and celebrating Christmas at the apartment. I can see the stuffed leopard I got so clearly in my minds' eye.
I remember my little sister learning how to walk. She fell in the living room and chipped off more than half of one of her front baby teeth. She was missing half her front tooth until it finally fell out when her adult teeth started to come in.
I remember my brother waking me up in the middle of the night because he couldn't sleep. We snuck into the living room and I put our VHS copy of Aladdin on the tv. I think it was during the big parade scene (after Genie makes Aladdin into a prince) that our mother woke up and came out to yell at us while dragging us back to bed. (Funny side note about Aladdin: It was my brothers favorite movie when he was 4 or 5. Because of a quote in the movie, any time anyone asked him to, "Say the magic word," instead of replying with, "Thank you," he'd always say, "Genie, I wish for you to make me a prince!" It was fucking adorable.)
One other thing I can vaguely recall about that apartment was the fact that across the hall lived two fabulous gay men. They were my first experience with a gay couple, I suppose. They were sweet as could be, and would keep an eye on us heathen children every once in a while, whenever our mother had to work and my stepfather was too drunk to responsibly supervise any living thing.
 |
| It's funny how the simplest things can hold such sentimental value. |
I still have the cheap, silly little gift they once gave me when I was around 6 or 7 (shit... like 20 years ago...). It was a wire stick-figure couple, sitting on a park bench. It sat on a stand, and had a counter-weight on top, so that you could just rock it back one time and it would keep itself swinging for a good long while.
One of the guys brought it over to me, and his boyfriend got super excited and came to sit with us. Went on to explain to me that it used to represent the two of them sitting together. They said I should keep it always, because one day it would be me and my sweetheart rocking on the bench. I can specifically recall one of them using the phrase "you and your sweetheart" in a southern accent that would almost put Scarlett O'Hara to shame.
One time, we were left with these men across the hall for a good couple hours. I'm pretty sure my sister was taking a nap. I don't recall if my brother was up wandering the apartment, or sleeping as well. But as the eldest, I didn't always have to take naps, and certainly couldn't be bothered to keep up with the schedules of Those Who Must Nap.
I don't know if they did this because it was the only animated movie they had, or if they figured there's no cartoon that a 6ish-year-old wouldn't love, but that afternoon they introduced me to Bebe's Kids.
For those of you who have never seen this movie, it's on Netflix streaming as I write this blog (in fact, this evening I decided to revisit the film after 20ish years, which was what prompted me to post).
The interesting thing about showing a movie like Bebe's Kids to an impressionable 6 year old is that she's going to absorb it. If she's raised in a household that promotes the idea that all people deserve to be empathized with and treated like human beings (regardless of skin color, or country of origin, or native language, or differing culture) then she won't understand why her white, Atlanta-native ass is told to be quiet anytime she tries to reference a quote from that silly cartoon she watched that one time.
Needless to say, my 6ish-year-old brain was baffled as to why certain things were SO hysterical when spoken by these cartoon characters, but god forbid I ask anyone why they're funny, or reference anything from the movie in passing. I didn't understand why things worked that way. Sometimes I still don't. The world is such a weird place.
Well, with that being said, I'm going to go to sleep. It's bed time (the earth-shattering snores that are coming from the unconscious Great Dane laying next to me is the best indicator). But before I go, I'll leave you with a taste of the 1992 classic, Bebe's Kids.
"She so fine she makes me wanna get a job... with benefits!"
"If you don't tell me where your brother is I'm gonna beat the black off you, and you're gonna look whiter than Michael Jackson!"
"If you tried to phone hell from here, it'd be a local call." (It's sad that no one born after 1990ish would get this joke, because who the hell pays different rates for local vs long-distance anymore?)
And finally, the yo momma jokes. Because who doesn't love the shit out of some yo momma jokes?
Until next time,
-Slagathor
No comments:
Post a Comment